🎯Simply Said: Overaccepting - The Art of Receiving More
Have you ever met someone who seemed so stuck in their position that conversation became impossible? Maybe it was a friend who could only see "us versus them" in every situation, or a family member who divided the world into "good people" and "bad people" with no room in between.
This way of thinking – seeing everything as either/or, black/white, friend/enemy – is something we all fall into sometimes. It feels safe because it's simple. But it also makes real conversation almost impossible.
What is Overaccepting?
Overaccepting is like being a really good dance partner. When someone offers you their hand with a certain move in mind, instead of just following along or refusing to dance, you accept their hand but add something new – turning what could be a simple back-and-forth into something more beautiful and creative.
In conversation, overaccepting means:
Receiving what someone says as a genuine gift
Adding something new that moves the conversation forward
Looking for what's valuable even in positions you disagree with
Finding a "third way" beyond simple agreement or disagreement
Why It Matters
When we only have two options – agree completely or reject completely – we get stuck. Relationships break down. Communities divide. We stop being able to hear each other at all.
Overaccepting creates space for something new to emerge. It helps us move beyond the trap of binary thinking that divides our communities, churches, and nation.
Try This at Home
The next time you find yourself in a difficult conversation:
Pause before responding. Take a deep breath.
Listen for what might be true or valuable in what's being said.
Acknowledge that truth or value out loud.
Add something new that neither agrees nor disagrees completely.
Invite the other person to respond to this new possibility.
For example, if someone says, "People on the other side are destroying this country!" instead of arguing or agreeing, you might say: "I hear your real concern for our country's wellbeing. That shows how much you care. I wonder if we could think about how people with different perspectives might actually share that same concern, even if they see the solutions differently?"
Learning to overaccept takes practice. You'll make mistakes. But each attempt helps create space for genuine conversation in a world that desperately needs it.
Remember: Jesus was the master of overaccepting. When given binary options, he frequently created a third way that transformed the entire conversation. Following his example, we can help heal divisions rather than deepen them.
This is part of our "Simply Said" series where we explore complex ideas from our weekly content in straightforward, accessible language. For a deeper exploration of overaccepting as a response to Binary Apocalypticism, see Monday's Overaccepting Dominative Christianism.